Resting and Replenishing

Today I am tired.  My well seems dry and resources depleted.  I can't decide whether it was the long and busy week that just ended, or the longer and busier week that lies ahead that is sucking out every last drop of energy and motivation.  I'm sure it's a combination of both. All of my shoulds and to-do's are weighing heavily on my spirit.

It feels like I am swimming with all my might to cross the river, and I lift my head for a gulp of hair, and in that moment I catch a glimpse of the other bank and think "My God, am I only half way?!" 

And it is in times like these that I wonder what example I should be setting for Milani.  Is it a better virtue for her to watch her weary mama set her jaw, dig in her heels, and will herself through a to-do list so that some laundry might get folded or some of the house straightened?  Or for her to watch me unplug and disconnect from the day-to-day, and curl up under the cool white sheets next to her to rest and replenish?

In this quiet moment it occurs to me, Milani doesn't need to be taught to rest and replenish.  It comes naturally to her.  She wakes up in the morning and plays hard, and crawls hard, and laughs hard, and when her body tells her that it needs a break, she naps hard.  It isn't a question or debate, it just is.  It makes perfect sense.

She doesn't paddle harder to cross the river faster, nor does she stop and sink.  Nope, girlfriend just flips over and floats, and lets the current take her in the right direction.  And once recharged, she picks up right where she left off.  She can teach me something everyday if I remember to pause and listen.

So today I will nap.  I will struggle to ignore the voices telling me I should be cleaning, or folding, or straightening.  I will remind myself that there is virtue to be found in knowing when to unplug and disconnect.  And I will offer up the fondest gratitude that I am fortunate enough to have the opportunity to snuggle with my ladybug at 1 in the afternoon.  

I nurse Milani as she grows drowsy.  Her eyelids get heavier, and her breathing slows and deepens.  I move her delicately onto the bed and slip under the covers next to her, my legs curl beneath her so she sleeps in my nook.  I can feel her breath on my cheek.  Moses snores in the corner, the fan hums, and traffic outside swooshes over the wet pavement.  I close my eyes and exhale melting into the cozy mattress, there is nothing better than this.

**Sorry no pictures today, I find that I can only operate the camera while I'm awake...go figure**

Sunkissed

What do you do when the forcast shows warm and sunny, but the scene out the window threatens otherwise?  Milani and I packed up our lunches, put on our layers, and bolstered our faith in the fickle weatherman.  We set out to meet up with Ariana and the boys determined to enjoy this spring Friday.

We pulled into the playground parking lot beneath cold thick clouds. 

We stretched our chilly muscles on the playground beneath cold thick clouds. 

We even ate our picnic lunch beneath the ominous and ugly cold thick clouds.  

 

It wasn't until the words "hot chocolate" actually left someone's lips that the clouds began to dissolve allowing patches of sunlight to flirt, and it wasn't long before endless blue sky stretched out above us and the sun glistened in all her glory.  Layers started peeling off one by one.

The first thing on the agenda; digging and burrowing, shoveling and dumping.  The boys concentrated on some heavy construction and Milani let handful after handful of sand slip through her fingers.

But it was the tire swing that had been calling my name since the moment we'd arrived.  The swing had other plans for me.  That's right, my shining moment on the tire swing lacked any resemblance of grace or coordination, and I think Milani may have witnessed her 11 month long life flash before her eyes.  Not to worry, we both escaped the debacle unscathed, I only wish I could post a gigantic picture (or better yet video) of the entire scene.  Jadon and Landry must have been graced with all the tire swing savvy in the family.

Milani enjoyed some swing time with Ariana that hopefully erased any residual trauma from swing time with me.

 And no trip to the playground would be complete without making yourself tripping, stumbling, fall flat on your face dizzy.  Multiple times!

Weatherman you didn't disappoint!  We left the park both energized and exhausted, with our cheeks rosy and our spirits recharged. 

Happy Monday!

Liquid Gold

Today the sun is tucked away behind a blanket of matte gray clouds.  Every crevice in the sidewalk is collecting pools of rain.  Little clear beads are clinging to the edge of the gutter.

And I couldn’t be happier.

Because just this weekend we nestled our first tender seedlings in the newly tilled soil. I love beautiful sunny days and pristine blue skies as much as anyone, but I know those little green babes are basking in the light spring rain. 

Saturday, however, was anything but gray.  The breeze was warm, the sun was golden, and the grass felt cool against our feet.

It was Milani's first chance to really explore the great outdoors and she wasted no time uncovering buried treasure and tasting fingers-full of dirt.  She scooted toward every corner of the yard and earned her first pair of dirt and grass stained knees.

We offered our fondest moral support as Jon tilled the soil and found homes for our first batch of seedlings.

And Milani kept a meticulous watch on the kids playing next door.  Paying close attention to their games and memorizing the rules because as soon as she's walking, baby, she is definitely going to want in.

 

 So today I'm ok with sitting indoors watching the rain stream down the windows, because I know that the sun will be busting out before long and coaxing our little crop skyward.  I look forward to many hazy days spent weeding in the garden.  To wiping the sweat from my brow with the back of a dirt covered hand.  To watching Milani find her own corner to burrow in the dirt.  Oh yes it's going to be amazing, so fall gently sweet rain - the garden is thirsty.