In some ways it feels like three lifetimes ago, when we were single and planning our wedding, booking our honeymoon and speculating about the future that lay ahead. And it feels like just yesterday, the way the details are etched into my memory, the way the sky looked and breeze felt, the nervous knot in my stomach, the slow walk down the isle and night of endless dancing that followed.
I thought it would be a great idea, to spend the night before the wedding by myself in the honeymoon suite. I would take a bubble bath in the jaccuzzi, pamper myself, relax in solitude. No one warned me how terrible an idea it was. I filled the bath, relaxing lavender scented bubbles to the brim, and I soaked, and then I was done soaking and it was only ten thirty, and I was anything but relaxed. I was alone, bored, lonely, and absolutely unable to sleep. Excitement and nerves sent thoughts and visions stampeding around my brain, like a demolition derby of prewedding hitters hijacked my consciousness. Minutes stretched on and on, hours seemed like an eternity, tomorrow would never come. Neither did sleep.
By five-o-clock the sun was barely casting a faint glow over the horizon, and the honeymoon suite felt like a prison, a torture chamber without anyone or anything to distract me from the panic attack that was swallowing me. My mouth was dry, and my hands were shaky and clammy. I had to breathe, get fresh air, so I went outside and walked around the empty wedding tent, meandering between tables in the dim predawn light. There is only so long you can kill time by pacing alone in an empty tent, so I went back to the room and watched the weather channel. The girls weren't picking me up until nine, I must have seen the local forcast about 30 times.
I was never so relieved to see anyone as I was when Rachel and Jackey arrived to pick me up, my saving graces rescuing me from my deserted island. I'm not sure they were expecting to see a pale, trembling, panicky bride. On the way to the salon they stopped at Sheetz and got me ginger ale and granola bars, and reminded me to take a bite and a sip every now and then. It was better, being in the company of family and friends, laughing and joking while Justin did my hair and Sara painted my nails. I managed to get my makeup done, and my dress and veil on without passing out or throwing up.
And then it was time. Time to walk down the isle. Time to marry my best friend and become Mrs. Vanness. I was nervous right up until the moment I saw Jon at the end of the isle, looking relaxed and happy. The ceremony went by in a haze. I remember screwing up words and the Judge having to make me repeat that part, and laughing and getting all flustered. I remember Andrea and my mom reciting their readings. I remember exchanging rings and vows, and our first kiss and introduction. And feeling like I was walking on air as I went back down the isle hand in hand with Jon.
I remember all the hugs and congratulations in the receiving line, getting to greet all of our friends and family. Then the pictures that seemed to take forever, as we smiled into the setting sun pretending that our retinas weren't about to burst into flames. It wasn't until we were introduced into the reception that I think I really started to enjoy the day. All the business was behind us, everything checked off the list except for the eating and drinking and dancing. And that's what we did. We drank homemade Italian red wine until our teeth turned purple, and didn't leave the dance floor. When the band took a break, we took over the drums and microphone to keep the party going, and belted out Mr. Big's To Be With You because that's what we do at weddings. We danced to the jukebox long after the band packed up and left.
We were happy and exhausted as we headed to our suite, leaving behind guests still at the bar taking shots. I can remember Jon and I laughing and trying to ignore the endless banging on our hotel door from one of our drunk friends who had either locked himself out of his room, or was locked out by his significant other, which I can't remember. I honestly can't recall now who was even pounding on the door, but I remember it went on for quite a while before they realized that they weren't crashing in the honeymoon suite, and gave up. The day was perfect really. It was the most amazing day, and the most fun I ever had at a wedding, maybe I'm a little biased.
It was three years ago today that I walked down the isle and married my best friend. Three years ago today that we walked hand in hand back down the isle. And Jon still walks beside me, hand in hand, through every day and every season and I couldn't be more grateful to be Mrs. Vanness.
**All of these gorgeous pictures were taken by Sara Zigon - Zigon Photography**
I thought it would be a great idea, to spend the night before the wedding by myself in the honeymoon suite. I would take a bubble bath in the jaccuzzi, pamper myself, relax in solitude. No one warned me how terrible an idea it was. I filled the bath, relaxing lavender scented bubbles to the brim, and I soaked, and then I was done soaking and it was only ten thirty, and I was anything but relaxed. I was alone, bored, lonely, and absolutely unable to sleep. Excitement and nerves sent thoughts and visions stampeding around my brain, like a demolition derby of prewedding hitters hijacked my consciousness. Minutes stretched on and on, hours seemed like an eternity, tomorrow would never come. Neither did sleep.
By five-o-clock the sun was barely casting a faint glow over the horizon, and the honeymoon suite felt like a prison, a torture chamber without anyone or anything to distract me from the panic attack that was swallowing me. My mouth was dry, and my hands were shaky and clammy. I had to breathe, get fresh air, so I went outside and walked around the empty wedding tent, meandering between tables in the dim predawn light. There is only so long you can kill time by pacing alone in an empty tent, so I went back to the room and watched the weather channel. The girls weren't picking me up until nine, I must have seen the local forcast about 30 times.
I was never so relieved to see anyone as I was when Rachel and Jackey arrived to pick me up, my saving graces rescuing me from my deserted island. I'm not sure they were expecting to see a pale, trembling, panicky bride. On the way to the salon they stopped at Sheetz and got me ginger ale and granola bars, and reminded me to take a bite and a sip every now and then. It was better, being in the company of family and friends, laughing and joking while Justin did my hair and Sara painted my nails. I managed to get my makeup done, and my dress and veil on without passing out or throwing up.
And then it was time. Time to walk down the isle. Time to marry my best friend and become Mrs. Vanness. I was nervous right up until the moment I saw Jon at the end of the isle, looking relaxed and happy. The ceremony went by in a haze. I remember screwing up words and the Judge having to make me repeat that part, and laughing and getting all flustered. I remember Andrea and my mom reciting their readings. I remember exchanging rings and vows, and our first kiss and introduction. And feeling like I was walking on air as I went back down the isle hand in hand with Jon.
I remember all the hugs and congratulations in the receiving line, getting to greet all of our friends and family. Then the pictures that seemed to take forever, as we smiled into the setting sun pretending that our retinas weren't about to burst into flames. It wasn't until we were introduced into the reception that I think I really started to enjoy the day. All the business was behind us, everything checked off the list except for the eating and drinking and dancing. And that's what we did. We drank homemade Italian red wine until our teeth turned purple, and didn't leave the dance floor. When the band took a break, we took over the drums and microphone to keep the party going, and belted out Mr. Big's To Be With You because that's what we do at weddings. We danced to the jukebox long after the band packed up and left.
We were happy and exhausted as we headed to our suite, leaving behind guests still at the bar taking shots. I can remember Jon and I laughing and trying to ignore the endless banging on our hotel door from one of our drunk friends who had either locked himself out of his room, or was locked out by his significant other, which I can't remember. I honestly can't recall now who was even pounding on the door, but I remember it went on for quite a while before they realized that they weren't crashing in the honeymoon suite, and gave up. The day was perfect really. It was the most amazing day, and the most fun I ever had at a wedding, maybe I'm a little biased.
It was three years ago today that I walked down the isle and married my best friend. Three years ago today that we walked hand in hand back down the isle. And Jon still walks beside me, hand in hand, through every day and every season and I couldn't be more grateful to be Mrs. Vanness.
**All of these gorgeous pictures were taken by Sara Zigon - Zigon Photography**
Happy Anniversary Jon.
I Love You!