Well hello there November! I feel like I say something along these lines every time I write, but seriously, I can't keep up! The days are speeding by faster and faster and I honestly can't believe we are entering a new month! Not to mention that Ride Aid and Redners already have their Christmas isles set up, the mall is decorated with lights and trees, and I have already seen a poster advertising Toys for Tots.
The holidays are rapidly approaching in all their splendor and glory, and this year they are ushering with them countless reasons for our family to celebrate. We have so many reasons to be grateful, and have so many blessings entering our lives, yet I have to admit that I am becoming overwhelmed with everything that life is handing me right now. If the holidays alone weren't hectic enough, we are expecting our sweet little one in December. And I'm off from work which allows me to spend so much more time with Jon and Milani, and to work furiously to turn my passion into a career, but is also straining our finances just in time for Christmas. On top of this, Jon and I stumbled upon an investment opportunity that was too good to pass up which will be demanding hours of our time and amounts money that we simply don't have to begin with. Jon reminds me that if we persevere through this now, it will be worth it in the long run, but I am more than just a little stressed out over it all.
I wish that I naturally faced obstacles with a positive outlook, automatically seeking out the lesson to be learned, welcoming the invitation for growth and enjoying the opportunity to rise up and overcome. I wish I were one of those people who inherently sees the silver lining, who's entire world is rose colored, and who is happy to surrender and just go with the flow. Instead I am furiously desperate to have a firm grasp of what my future holds, I worry away hours of my life (usually at 2:45 am) fussing over what might happen, how things will probably go wrong, and where I'll end up. And I am completely aware that this is a useless, downright toxic, waste of good time and precious energy, but I come from a long and hardy lineage of worriers.
So, when I get to thinking about all that we have on our plate for the coming months I immediately start picturing our family subsiding on nothing but Raman Noodles, huddling for warmth around a fire in a trash can. But life has this way of repeatedly reminding me that the more I plan, and try to control and manipulate the path I travel, the more surprised I will be to find that nothing ever really unfolds the way I imagine it will. And not only that, it usually works itself out much more smoothly and poetically than I could have orchestrated on my own anyway. I'm slowly learning that in these times when anxiety finds a hold in the corners of my brain, and when the enormity and uncertainty of the future utterly overwhelm me, is when I need to focus on what is right in front of me, in the present. I need notice the ways that life is flowing along beautifully today and savor them, because the only thing I can affect is this moment.
I need to soak up this time with my little cutie, and drink in her excitement when we go on adventures like apple picking.
I need to appreciate the fleeting moments where the love of a mother for her littles outshines everything else.
I'm also slowly learning to let go of my need for things to be done perfectly, and to accept help from others. I was always the person in group projects offering to do all the work because I felt like that was the only way I could be certain it would meet my outrageous expectations. As I made my applesauce I talked Jon through my chicken pot pie recipe, the one I know like the back of my hand. And I tried not to nitpick when he eyeballed spice measurements rather than use measuring spoons, and definitely bit my tongue when he crimped the edge of the crust together much differently (and a little more messily) than I would have, and lo and behold the resulting pot pie was perfect. Turns out Jon's pie crimping technique that almost made my head pop, made for a much more rustic looking, more beautiful pot pie, and it tasted absolutely delicious! I couldn't have made it better myself, and that's the truth.
The holidays are rapidly approaching in all their splendor and glory, and this year they are ushering with them countless reasons for our family to celebrate. We have so many reasons to be grateful, and have so many blessings entering our lives, yet I have to admit that I am becoming overwhelmed with everything that life is handing me right now. If the holidays alone weren't hectic enough, we are expecting our sweet little one in December. And I'm off from work which allows me to spend so much more time with Jon and Milani, and to work furiously to turn my passion into a career, but is also straining our finances just in time for Christmas. On top of this, Jon and I stumbled upon an investment opportunity that was too good to pass up which will be demanding hours of our time and amounts money that we simply don't have to begin with. Jon reminds me that if we persevere through this now, it will be worth it in the long run, but I am more than just a little stressed out over it all.
I wish that I naturally faced obstacles with a positive outlook, automatically seeking out the lesson to be learned, welcoming the invitation for growth and enjoying the opportunity to rise up and overcome. I wish I were one of those people who inherently sees the silver lining, who's entire world is rose colored, and who is happy to surrender and just go with the flow. Instead I am furiously desperate to have a firm grasp of what my future holds, I worry away hours of my life (usually at 2:45 am) fussing over what might happen, how things will probably go wrong, and where I'll end up. And I am completely aware that this is a useless, downright toxic, waste of good time and precious energy, but I come from a long and hardy lineage of worriers.
So, when I get to thinking about all that we have on our plate for the coming months I immediately start picturing our family subsiding on nothing but Raman Noodles, huddling for warmth around a fire in a trash can. But life has this way of repeatedly reminding me that the more I plan, and try to control and manipulate the path I travel, the more surprised I will be to find that nothing ever really unfolds the way I imagine it will. And not only that, it usually works itself out much more smoothly and poetically than I could have orchestrated on my own anyway. I'm slowly learning that in these times when anxiety finds a hold in the corners of my brain, and when the enormity and uncertainty of the future utterly overwhelm me, is when I need to focus on what is right in front of me, in the present. I need notice the ways that life is flowing along beautifully today and savor them, because the only thing I can affect is this moment.
I need to soak up this time with my little cutie, and drink in her excitement when we go on adventures like apple picking.
I need to appreciate the fleeting moments where the love of a mother for her littles outshines everything else.
And appreciate the goodness of time spent in the fresh air, with close friends and family.
Because when life hands me thirty pounds of apples, well that's when I check one more thing off my grand canning plan and can me a whole lot of applesauce.
I'm also slowly learning to let go of my need for things to be done perfectly, and to accept help from others. I was always the person in group projects offering to do all the work because I felt like that was the only way I could be certain it would meet my outrageous expectations. As I made my applesauce I talked Jon through my chicken pot pie recipe, the one I know like the back of my hand. And I tried not to nitpick when he eyeballed spice measurements rather than use measuring spoons, and definitely bit my tongue when he crimped the edge of the crust together much differently (and a little more messily) than I would have, and lo and behold the resulting pot pie was perfect. Turns out Jon's pie crimping technique that almost made my head pop, made for a much more rustic looking, more beautiful pot pie, and it tasted absolutely delicious! I couldn't have made it better myself, and that's the truth.
It really puts into perspective the things that are important, and the things that aren't worth fussing and worrying over. And when I walk into a bedroom to find Jon, Milani, and bunny rabbit curled up reading Goodnight Moon, I am reassured that our lives are indeed unfolding perfectly.
Because it's nearly impossible to stress over the future when this little entertaining chica is making the present such an absolute delight.
Oh and Happy BEE-lated Halloween!!